The weather is changing quick. The night is starting to usher in and the light is fading.  I think to myself thank god it is finally cooling off.  The only problem with it is the cold is jumping in and there is no transitioning.  I go out and the wind is howling around me.  I look up and the clearer the sky the colder it is.  I think it is so funny that when the weather is hot and it's  cloudy it is cooler: where as if it is cool outside and the sky is cloudy it is warmer.  I often think nature is a funny thing.  It provides us the very substances we need for survival and it can also rip everyone of them away in a blur.  I thank god for the beauty it provides us to turn around and curse god when we have a flood or tornado.  Nature in a sense can warm our faces in the summer or cause us to have a heat stroke.  In the winter if we can't find warmth it can freeze our extremities right off of our bodies.  I love how something that it such a part of our vital life can rip that very life from us.  It just makes you know that life really is a vicious cycle.

I am having a rough time at  school. I always knew that it would be hard to go back when you already have a full plate that is why I never have been able to do so.  I sit here and wonder how women juggle their children, work, and school. Our lives are always so busy. Rush, rush, rush....that is my pace all week long.  I wonder do other women out there feel the same? People say that house wives have it made but I do not believe that managing a home and children is an easy job.  I don't think alot of men have ever stopped and realized the hours that women put in as mothers and wives.  If you calculated it up each week...cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, grocery shopper, and personal driver.  The is just normal duties of the average women add on school and a job; what time do have for "me" time.  I am hoping that after I get back into the swing of things that school fits in as easily as everything else.  I do applaud all women for their hard work!  I would tell all women BRAVO you are worth a lot more than you get credit for!

Here we are again.  I am sitting here once again in front of the computer typing random comments that come into my head.  It makes me wonder what compels us to share our thoughts with one another.  Why are we either really opinionated or to the other extreme not opinionated at all.  I am back at college now studying biology and psychology. It is really fascinating the way the human mind and body work. I don't think we will every fully understand the capacity that our bodies or minds have.  It is amazing that our bodies actually have chemicals in it like morphine that we often call "endorphins" that naturally provide pain relief.  We were discussing in psychology class today a particular question about humans versus animals.  One student posed the idea that a cat may have a conscious or a rationalization process....I on the other hand think that this idea is crazy.  I think that if cats, dogs, sharks, or any other animal for that matter had this type of intelligence that we as humans would not be on the top of the food chain.  I do believe that animals can be taught.  There are many experiments that document dolphins and monkeys and rats responding to sensory responses.  I do understand the argument on some level but my point would have to be we are teaching these animals to do these things.  Man on the other hand teaches his self  we research and gather and rationalize and plan. I know some of our habits are instinctual as animals but we go way beyond the spectrum of just instinct.  There are many things alike about humans and animals as far as we both need air to survive, food in our stomach, and many animals have maternal instincts.  I just do not think that animals can rationalize or plan their whole day.  I do not believe they wake up and say, first i gonna eat; then go grocery shopping; next i think i will take a nap. I guess my point is simple that man is the dominant species for a reason and that is we are the smartest animal.

Sometimes I feel like a failure....I gave up alot when I got pregnant at a young age. I decided not to go to school because I did not think I would be able to do it. I didn't pursue my dreams: basically I didn't pursue anything except my relationship. I put everything I had into being a mother and eventually a wife. Shortly after I had my first child I got pregnant with my second. My two boys are fourteen months apart and it was very hard being 21 years of age to raise them in a appropriate manner. I continued down the same path for the next 15 years devoting my life to my children and my husband.  I did try and go back to school a couple of times but for one reason or another it never worked.  I had a successful business for a while but unfortunately I also had to sell it.  It seemed that no matter what I did it didn't work.  The only thing that seemed to stay the same in my life was my family.  Finally in 2010 my family fell apart also.  I am currently getting a divorce and the only thing I thought was a constant in my life is now gone.  Thank god I still have my kids and my parents.  I feel like a failure because nothing I have done thus far I have succeeded in.  I have come back to school to prove to myself that I am not a failure and I can succeed.  I know this time things are going to be different because I refuse to let myself be a failure!